It's rare that one is offered the opportunity to learn from not doing. I realised today that I learn more from not doing when it comes to my meditation practice. The lesson speaks loud and clear when I don't attend to stillness.
When I tell myself to 'have a holiday', 'sleep in' or whatever excuse I care to use.
I always take my kids away in January, prior to that Christmas spins through my life and the weeks flap by in it's wake. I drop my bundle for a month or so and the inevitable consequence is a post holiday storm in the teacup that is my mind.
Chakras, whirling wheels of prana- I am reminded that our energy spirals.
Without my morning meditation I step into the spin of life. I allow myself to bounce around in fear and insecurity. Old habits surface, I become less patient, less certain and my world is quite literally louder. I am a whirlwind, I was born that way. I've ran with the wind in my face for most of my life. Torn up, turned on, trouble for a good part of it. I've brought the lightning and the thunder through more sunny days than I care to remember. I friend of mine once said I could turn the weather with a stick (whatever that meant!).
Meditation allows me to step into the centre of myself. It's my shelter and my sure bet and when I don't do, I experience the storm.
I'm not very good at it.
I'm never sure if I'm doing it right.
But then I don't do for a month....and this is how I learn.
I see the change in me and I know I need to turn in. I sit quietly and do the practice of not doing.
After one twenty minute session I am reminded. I am back and the sun is warming my face. I hear birds and crickets and the trickling water from last nights rain. I breathe into that warm dark place between my eyebrows and I see myself without the tempest and the tumbling. I am infinite energy, love, part of a whole that isn't bordered by my brain or my body.
I am back.