It seemed like a good opportunity to sort out my stuff and make some big changes. I had my money on metamorphosis and I was excited. I wasn't interested in the whole journey rubbish. I was interested in the prayer beads and the yoga pants and the freakin Zen baby! I may have been interested in a better body along with my clearer mind, but the point is I wanted it yesterday.
Well how do you hope to get anywhere without a journey?
I've now completed 200hrs of teacher training and the road stretches long both before and behind me.
It occurred to me that I've taken about 150 million steps in my lifetime. Sometimes I ran like a tap or stumbled around in circles. Sometimes I strode like I was on a mission and sometimes I tiptoed quietly from the scene. But I've walked and walked and walked.
I hate the word bloody 'journey'. I blame reality TV for completely overusing what used to be a rather romantic notion. I've witnessed too many tear stained beauties crying over their saggy soufflés or self imposed incarcerations. "Oh go and be quiet about your journeys and your pursuit of the Master Brother award for the best bloody Block! I'd rather watch Ross from friends than listen to your bleating."
Each day I just walk.
I can't decide I want to be 100 million steps in front without putting on my boots and taking each-single-step. The only way to move along is to move along.
I've learnt a lot in this past year. I've loved being challenged by yoga philosophy, I've faced some big fears and even stood on my head a few times. I've hurt myself and healed myself and made some good friends along the way. But most importantly, what this year has taught me is to put one foot in front of the other.
Where I stand today is exactly where I need to be.
More than the fancy poses and the yoga fads. More than the beautiful arms and hypnotic chants. More than the bliss and the bali huts and the mala beads and the love ins - I think that's actually yoga.
Just two feet on the ground, heart open present.