This morning I decided to begin my day by doing the sort of slow meditative yoga that I love. I took my time with the poses, reaching and delving into all those areas that I forget I inhabit. It’s odd, a bit like walking through your house and discovering rooms that you were previously unaware existed.
Sometimes in this long, slow practice, I like to do simple poses really well rather than trying to balance in complicated postures. I like to track the energy flow of the pose, opening little doors along the way, metaphorically walking through the temple of Me.
Opening is the key to freedom, both physically and mentally.
Anyway, I was really enjoying the sequence and the house was lovely and quiet, morning sun streaming in and warming my face in cobra. I have a house plant in my yoga corner and I was watching the light cast shadows amongst the leaves when the weirdest thing happened…
With my head down in plank pose, there was a little crack noise.
Odd, because when I look up there is nothing in front of me but my little potted plant. I check it over for any signs of eight legged hairiness but thank goodness I find nothing. (as a side note I must say I struggle with Ahimsa when it comes to critters! I try, but I struggle!) So I return to plank and as I transition into upward dog, there it is again! I’m now face to…. well..pretend plant face with this botanical being and it’s actually making noise like it’s alive.
Now before you go assuming I’ve lost my marbles, I should expand on what’s actually happening as I enjoy my salutations. Upon closer inspection the tiny creaking sounds appear to be coming from some dryer leaves at the base of a brand new leaf. This fresh verdant growth seems to be ever so slowly unfurling as the sun hits the plant causing the dry leaves to make crackling sounds. Too slow to visibly witness, but enough to cause these little utterances.
As I physically attempt to demonstrate a reversal of this process by trying really hard to fold my poor old body into a forward bend, my awareness shifts to my plant. The process of life might be slow, but it happens. It’s active. Change occurs every second, every moment. Whether that change is positive of negative is largely up to us. It feels like I will never get my nose to my shins at this point. But I can choose to try because it is my intention. Life is change.
In my life I have often been skeptical of peoples (and my own) ability to change. The truth is I was really doubtful. I wasn’t sure that I could really be a different me. Perhaps I hadn’t realised that I was choosing to be the old me every day. I was choosing to be hurt, I was choosing I identify myself as a victim. Ive made all sorts of wacky, wounded harmful, hurtful choices and it’s been a long slow goodbye to my sadder self.
I didn’t realise that I had changed every single day of my life.
We get older
We get fitter
We get faster
We get slower
We put on weight
We lose weight
We stop drinking
We might start!
We eat whole foods
We eat fried cheese and onion sandwiches and a whole tub of ice-cream in front of the TV…..No? Just me?
We learn things
We forget things
We get mad
We get happy
We quieten our minds
We challenge ourselves
We fall in love
We lose someone
We make decisions
We eat differently
We love differently
We like ourselves
We let go
Every single day. When I began this yoga journey all those years ago, I never thought that one of my teachers would be a house plant.