On open letter to cauliflower. Ugly words, ugly fritters.

IMG_2712 Oh cauliflower why do you bore me so?

With your pasty, lumpy  motionless moonface. You don't sway your leaves in the vegepatch or even attract the caterpillars. Such is the sad miserable fate of your rotund little self.

Does anyone get passionate about your ho-hum beige-ness?

You need some serious jazzing up that only a little bengali spice and a frypan can do. I apologise for the blistering baptism of oil you are about to endure. Nevermind the food processor. Eeek.

I quite like you in a salad, raw and unsullied, but it's cool outside and I need some naughty in my life. Somehow I see that your bumpy, lumpy self still manages to show it's head even with all my chopping and changing.

I remember how my granny boiled you into submission served with corned beef and (I think) PVA glue. Urgh. You tasted like an old musty Tshirt that was left in the rain. I shan't be sayin' "Don't go changin."

You need some serious wrangling.

Unapologetically,

Michelle

Cauliflower bhaji

½ head cauliflower

½ cup caramelised onions

handful of spinach

handful parsley

1 clove garlic and a little knob of ginger (2cm) grated

1 tablespoon Panch Phoron (bengali spice mix) toasted

2 eggs

1 cup rye bread crumbs (you can use ordinary crumbs)

3 heaped T yogurt

salt and pepper

Grab a food processor and blitz your cauliflower into a chunky crumb.

Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well. Season generously with salt and pepper.

Heat a frypan on medium heat with a little oil (I use rice bran)

Fry on both sides until toasty and crunchy. Serve with Spinach leaves, mango chutney and minted yogurt.

 

Party mouth pickle

IMG_1946 I love a good condiment. Who doesn't right? But this recipe is going to make us friends. :) This is the one recipe that you'll try and you'll experience that crazy Pow!! moment when your mouth and your brain do some sort of MC Hammer happy dance.

"You're welcome, glad you could come to the party. Pickles are on me"

I'm serious. Next weekend, I want you to go to the farmers market and buy two big fat shiny aubergines and a couple of lemons. Check out your spice rack- add some chilli if you like it hot. Then chase down some nice ripe avocados.

Sweet-talk the bread man and pay way too much for a fat grainy sourdough or better still make your own. Skip home and open this post and get to work.

This recipe makes about three medium jars so sort those out. Boil them in water to make sure they're sterile. You could halve the quantity but then you'd just be devastated when it runs out. Better to double the quantity and give to people you love (or owe lot's of money to, debt cleared!). I like it for breakfast but it's also great on lamb or chicken or lentil patties or ice-cream or sandwiches.

Ok, maybe not dessert.

My son named this recipe. He took one bite and lost his tiny mind. "What is in this???" said he. " It's like a party in my mouth!".

Party on little man.

Who doesn't love a serious breakfast party?

Eggplant Pickle

2 large eggplant

2  lemons (zest and juice)

½ cup vege oil

2 T tamarind paste

1 T garam marsala

1 T yellow curry powder

1 T turmeric

1 t hot paprika

1 t ground coriander

1 t mustard powder

1 t powdered ginger

* Cut eggplants into 1cm cubes

* Heat up a big pot and toast your dry spices over medium heat.

* Add oil and lemon zest and then stir in eggplant.

* Cook over low heat with a lid on. Stir every 5 minutes or so, for half and hour.

* Add lemon juice and tamarind and cook for a further 10 minutes.

* Make sure it's all good and soft and jar up. Vacuum seal your jars by placing in a simmering bath for 5 minutes. (water half covering the jars, no higher).

* You can eat one jar right away because the smell of this pickle is similar to the total exhilaration of your first kiss. (You'll see) You're not going to wait. But the rest you need to leave for a week because it gets better.

* If you wish to send me presents I'll understand :)

Mamas musical fruit

IMG_1732 Do you remember being 10 years old and there was something that all your friends ate that your mum wouldn't buy. For me it was space food sticks, which were like real astronaut food! 

(and tasted like chocolate flavoured candles.)

Anywho for my kids it's baked beans. Ever read how much sugar is in a tin of beans? I might as well give them a donut on toast. I think they smell weird and don't even start me on the ones with those weird sausage things inside.

I'd rather eat a candle.

Mama's Beans

1 chopped onion

½ chopped red capsicum

bunch coriander stalks (use the leaves somewhere else)

1 T sweet paprika (use hot if you like it spicy)

1 t ground coriander

1 t turmeric

1 T worcestershire sauce

350ml tomato passata

2 x 400g tins white beans

1 435g tin refried beans

* Cook onion, capsicum and coriander stalk over med heat until soft.

* Add dry spices and cook for one minute

* Add passata, refried beans, worcestershire and stir until smooth

* Drain and rinse white beans until water stops foaming and runs clear. Add beans to sauce and enjoy with toasted sourdough spread with danish feta.

Michelle xx

Ps. Blame the dog :)

 

1 T